While He Sleeps

He sleeps.

I wait.

I listen to his breath

his snoring

his coughing.

I wait to help him get out of bed.

Wait to get him juice

or water

or food.

He’s been sleeping

a lot the last few days.

Only staying awake a couple of hours

between his, three hour naps.

He sleeps.

I wait.

I try to keep myself quietly busy.

I read.

I pray.

I get on the computer,

check my e-mail,

check out facebook,

play pogo games

and write this blog.

A cathartic sense

comes over me

as I write these words.

Words that can’t seem to

capture how I am

really feeling

He coughs.

Is he awake?

I listen.

He coughs again,

and again.

He’s been coughing

a lot in the past couple of weeks.

I wonder

why?

Why isn’t he feeling better?

His last chemo was March 13.

He should be feeling better

I think

to myself

as if

I have any clue

what he is going through.

But it is when he is awake

I cherish.

I cherish being with him.

We make each other laugh.

He teases me.  I laugh.

I get silly, he laughs.

We talk about life and love

the world

religion

and his stories

Stories of his childhood.

Stories of his adventures

Stories that make me laugh

Stories that break my heart

He wants to share his past

I will hold his memories for him

in a safe place in my heart

while he sleeps.

About 1lisaa

I've been on a spiritual quest my whole adult life. As a 59 year old retired school teacher and a long time observer of people, life, nature and miracles, I have decided to start a blog. As I began my blog I was a caregiver for my soul mate Raymond who was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in 2011 and it has been quite a journey. Now, I continue this blog with memoirs, insights, and stories about this journey, called life. In this blog, I hope to find clarity and share spiritual lessons along the way. All comments and insights would be appreciated.
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4 Responses to While He Sleeps

  1. Holly Teetzel says:

    Lisa your entries uplift my heart as well. I think of you both often. It calms me and helps me to reflect and cherish the small moments.
    Love, cousin Holly

  2. 1lisaa says:

    Thanks Holly,
    The small moments are all we have… and moment by moment it adds up to life. Trying so hard to learn the lesson “live in the moment.” I love you honey.
    Lisa

  3. susy westmoreland says:

    Lisa……I’m so touched by the beautiful way you share your deepest feelings with us all,
    I am learning from you about “living in the moment”…..isn’t that really all we have anyways.
    Love you,
    Susy

  4. Debra Graham says:

    Beautiful, heartbreaking,

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