Just BE

So many people have asked me “What are your plans?” “What are you going to do now?”  A good friend of mine and I were talking, and he asked “What are you going to do now, any travel plans or just BE?”

I am going to just BE

Be with the deep sorrow

Be with the loneliness

Be with this hole in my heart

Be with the fact that I can sleep through the night without checking on Raymond

the knowledge that he is released from his suffering

the lack of scheduled doctors visits

Be with him, he is here, all around me

Be with the clothes in his half of the closet

the shed full of his cherished things that I am unable to look through

the empty side of the bed

Be with the sadness

Be with the memories of

the unconditional love we shared

the memories of laughter

Be with the prayers that are coming our way

Be with the knowledge that there are so many loved ones who truly care about me

the sweetness of saying good night to his pillow

this messy house I have no interest in cleaning

Be with the dying funeral flowers all around the house and his pictures where ever I look

Be with the sound of the birds chirping out my window

the rustling of the wind in the leaves on the trees

the sunny days and starry nights

Be with him in all of nature

Be with the fact that life goes on

the thoughts of how will I ever get along without him

the solitude

Be with the stillness

Be with the deep sorrow

Be with the loneliness

Be with this hole in my heart

About 1lisaa

I've been on a spiritual quest my whole adult life. As a 59 year old retired school teacher and a long time observer of people, life, nature and miracles, I have decided to start a blog. As I began my blog I was a caregiver for my soul mate Raymond who was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in 2011 and it has been quite a journey. Now, I continue this blog with memoirs, insights, and stories about this journey, called life. In this blog, I hope to find clarity and share spiritual lessons along the way. All comments and insights would be appreciated.
This entry was posted in caregiver of cancer, death and loss, healing. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Just BE

  1. Sandy says:

    Dear Lisa,
    I continue to pray for you. I hope that the hole in your heart would be filled with the Love of God & the Love of Raymond. Hang in there & take care!!
    Sandy

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